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DrJays.com Debate: Why do people cheat?

Submitted by on May 5, 2009 – 1:05 pm12 Comments

Kobe Bryant with wife Vanessa during his 2003 cheating scandal

On AskMen.com, they narrow the answer to this question down to two basic reasons: the physical sexual drive and the emotional need.

In your personal opinion and through your own experiences – why do you think people cheat on their significant others?

I’m sure we have all heard of gorgeous men and women being cheated on, such as the public figures below:

Diddy has admitted to cheating on Jennifer Lopez with ex-girlfriend Kim Porter

Billy Bob Thornton was said to have cheated on Angelina Jolie with their sex therapist


Former NY Giants’ Michael Strahan reportedly split from girlfriend Nicole, after he discovered she was having an affair

A lot of people are left scratching their heads as to why any sane man or woman would mess up their relationships with stars like these, to cheat with people who are often not even considered nearly as physically attractive.

These types of instances show that it obviously goes deeper than looks and perhaps even how satisfied one is sexually with their partner.

Is it because cheaters want variety? Is there something emotionally missing in their relationship?

We would love to hear your thoughts…and perhaps your own experiences if you don’t mind sharing!

Images: Hip Hop Ruckus, All Movie Photo, Necole Bitchie

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  • Good article kiki!

    There’s a a lot reasons. But it all has a need not being met and a lack of communication and/or action somewhere. It may be one persons fault or both persons fault.

    You can be fine as hell, but if you have no personality or your personality sucks. Then you might get cheated on. There’s a lot of girls where I’m like oh hell the f no. Another factor is if the other isn’t getting the attention they need/want, that person is gone alot or it’s just too clingy and they can’t breathe. Or the other isn’t plowing the fields like they used to. They might’ve gotten with that person to impress, make their friends jealous or to fit in with others. It could be money related. It could be an outside influence. Some people don’t want to have no relationship but at the same time the one their in isn’t making them happy. Some people want something new. Some people get in a relationship just to be in one.

    I’ve never cheated on any gf I’ve had, whether good or bad. But I’ve been with girls already with a bf or gf. I either found it out, was told later or she broke out the “oh we’re breaking up” tale. There’s girls that I know parts of them their man doesn’t. Like obvious little shit. Their man spends a lot more time with them, I’m thinking to myself how does he not know this stuff about her, or put time into her? Or he does some stupid shit and she’s crying to me, calling me babe, hugging etc. Why?, because I make her laugh and feel safe etc. I don’t take them, because well… karma. I’ve been cheated on a few times because I was overseas.

    Sometimes I think their bf’s should send me gifts for my birthday because I didn’t take their girls. I’m not saying I’m better looking, sometimes I’m not, I’m saying I’m a better man. Girls get tired of that ken doll crap and they want the kung fu grip.

  • DURK NIGLER says:


  • Buck Chuck says:

    define cheating……we talking sex here?

  • Lee Lee says:

    Rick will u marry me?
    Anyway, I would like to know why I of all people was cheated on, after I moved across the country to be with my high school sweetheart. I cooked, cleaned, worked and went to college while he sat at home and did absolutely nothing. And I know it’s not wat was going on in da bedroom cuz he be asking me for it like 8 times a day. WHY WHY WHY?!?!?! And the bitch was ugly and very heavyset. I dont get it and I never will.

  • good dude says:

    I look at it like this. Men cheat because the oppotunity for sex is there. Whether the female is more attractive, more intimate, satisfies more needs, or they like the attention. I cheated once. I cheated to escape the stress of my relationship. It felt good to relax with someone else, and once you create a bond with someone then sex is inevitable. I still have love for my girl, but the stress she put me through was enough to push me away. I can’t speak for ladies though, I don’t know what drives them to do it.

  • star da el says:

    its not cheatin if your not married its just fornicating

  • Kwaping says:

    Here’s an article on why politicians cheat, and I think the reasons listed apply to celebrities as well.


  • Chris J The Genius says:

    People cheat for all types of reasons. It could be simple lust for another person, mid-life crisis, ego boosts, or simply the thrill of doing something devious. It could also be because the other person provides something that is lacking in the relationship. With guys, a lot of it has to do with our sense of masculinity. Masculinity is traditionally seen among men as something that must constantly be tested, proven, and defended. One of the ways that men define masculinity (believe it or not) is their ability to attract women. The constant need to prove one’s self as masculine could very well contribute to cheating, especially if the other woman (or the guy’s friends) start to taunt him about trying to do the right thing. Some men simply refuse to restrain or control themselves, or fail to realize that the only way to effectively do this is to avoid certain women and situations. Mr. Johnson has a mind of his own and can only be pushed so far before he takes over – so willpower in and of itself is simply not enough for any man to resist the temptation. Heck, King David (in the Bible) was a man after God’s own heart and even he killed a man in order to get with the dude’s wife after he saw her bathing!
    @ Lee Lee:
    It sounds as if you may have been a little too nice. Yes, there is such a thing in relationships. You have to show a little backbone every once in a while, or people get annoyed and tired of the mundane. I know that’s probably hard to hear, but it’s reality. Do a little something different. Also, while I’m sure your domestic abilities are the best, he probably started to feel as if he was already married to you and that the passion had died. It’s no excuse, he had absolutely no right to betray you in such a way. But, the above may be a few of the reasons for it.
    You should come on down to Mississippi and find a man here, MS brothas ain’t going nowhere if you have the right culinary skills. Soul food, anyone?

  • Chris J The Genius says:

    Still waiting to hear a lady chime in on the reasons that women cheat.
    Any takers?

  • Dee says:

    Some people do it for the thrill of secrecy and others do it coz the man/women cannot satisfy them..thats my opinion any way!!

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