Home » Sex + Relationships, Society

Should You Tell Your Partner How Many People You’ve Slept With?

Submitted by on August 17, 2009 – 6:26 pm14 Comments


How would you feel if dudes started popping up out of the woodwork from New York to Los Angeles to the mountains of Appalachia saying they slept with your girl? How incredibly wack would it be to have every female this side of the Mississippi know exactly how your man puts it down in the bedroom?

If you ask a woman how many people she’s slept with, she’ll probably give you an answer that excludes the ones she didn’t love; an answer that also excludes the ones she doesn’t want to remember.

Ask a man how many women he’s slept with and either brace yourself for an honest answer or prepare the most elaborate eye roll you’ve ever had to muster up because some men just lose count after a while. The same goes for some women.

Ask and you might not like the answer you receive. Don’t ask and run the risk of everybody in the club eventually letting you know what the deal is.

So what’s the verdict? Yes, you should tell because you have nothing to hide or no, even if your number isn’t ho-worthy, it’s your business!

Related Posts with Thumbnails


  • Veronica says:

    Wow. Guess the answer to that is if you’re in love it most likely won’t matter. You can tell the truth if your partner asks, but mine never asked and I know he has no idea how many girls he slept with,lol. i honestly only met a pair of guys that actually kept count/know how many girls they slept with, but for most its too many.

    Personally I don’t care how many women a guy has slept with, as long as he’s std free, not carrying any baggage, and faithfull to me. The other way around I think ladies are rarely honest IF they think the guy will think her number is too high. Its hard to determine what a man will think is a high number. Depending on how old you are you may have only had sex with one dude every six months, but over the course of a decade you now had sex with 20 dudes, and a guy might think that’s a lot. For the guys that respond how many is too many?

  • Real says:

    I’m a virgin! I slept with zero guys! I’m abstinence and proud of it! My number limit is 3 and they all have too be monogamous and marriage material!

  • I don’t ask for the purpose of:

    1. I don’t want to be asked. Not that I’ve been buck wild or anything. I’ve been through drama sessions. It’s just a past thing and women will not forget it and it will lead to more things like. Who are they? (which leads to snooping etc), who was the best one?, was she better than me etc. Women are insecure by nature, no need to add to it.

    Hell one of the girls I’m seeing keeps throwing her friends name at me because of a minor mistake on my part. They look and dress alike.

    2. I don’t give a damn how many people she slept with, talked to etc. That’s her business and her past. Just don’t let the ish happen when we’re official. If I’m with you then it means I trust you. If she’s a walking std transport that’s a different story lol.

    Honestly I’ve never kept track of how many girls I’ve been with, I’ve never cared or needed too. I don’t see the real purpose in it other than messing yourself up.

    If this other dude has hit 50 girls and I hit 10. What does it matter if the girl he wants, get’s with me instead?

  • MissKeepItGoodForHim says:

    I personally think that we should alll be open and honest about our sexual history. All these secrets in the black community are the reason the number of A.I.D.S. cases we have is so high. What are you so afraid of? What should you have to hide? I personally have only had sex with two people. And I asked both of my partners how many people they have been intimate with.
    If a person does not remember the number then that says something abbout their history and their past. You should know if the guy/girl you are with used to sleep around alot. Then you know to be prepared if you run into a few of their old flames. We grow up and change, but it lets you know about their past.
    If the person lies/ lowers or whatever then they have soemthing to hide. How can you be with someone when you can’t be honest. Sex is an important issue.
    I feel like I have tried my best to save my body for someone special and only let them in when I feel like their is truly something there. I don’t want to be in the same category as the chicks who lie about their partners or have have more than a fair share of partners. And as far as a mate goes, I’m looking for someone who feels the same way about their body and does not just let everyone get a sample. If he is man enough to admit he has slept around, can explain to me why he did it and what separates then from now then maybe we can move forward.

  • EyeRoll says:

    Why bother? You know they’re just gonna lie about it.
    If you’re both happy with each other then why does it really matter?

  • I feel what your saying miss keep it good. But I think your looking too much into it.

    1. People can just lie to you. Short of looking at the results from a clinic you really can’t be sure of what they got.

    2. Stuff happens like I said before I don’t keep track. It doesn’t mean I’ve contributed in freak fests. But I have been in situations to where I feel I shouldn’t be persecuted for, all of my life. Or relive every moment unnecessarily.

    And I’ll be real with you. My father was in the military etc. When I was in the military I handled sensitive things etc. Everything is pretty much need to know with me. Till this day I don’t mention certain things because people talk etc. I can’t even tell things that I want to because other people I don’t want to know will ask that person because they know they will talk. Sometimes I’ll mention things because people talk and I want to see who’s talking.

    Every girl I tell a situation to is telling her inner circle, friends, family for advice etc etc.

    The past is the past and it’s just that. It doesn’t allways have relevance to the now.

    3. That’s her ex cmon, like I’m really going to listen to him, her whatever. I expect the same out of her with me. Honestly if she’s tripping off of what others said vs what I’m saying/doing, the trust isn’t there. If the trust isn’t there then she isn’t, which means she can be somewhere else.

  • jabez says:

    Yes, i think if your parter asked the question anwser it truthfully, if he/she gets made than that means they where not ready for the truth and their not ready for an relationship with you.

  • MZ 5***** CHIC says:

    I totally agree with what Rick Lexington is saying… Everything he’s said is true because im a female and i kno i have asked my ex those same questions when I asked him about his past… But honestly most males really can’t tell u how many people they have slept with and to me thats jus normal for men.. but if a female cant remember everybody she has slept with or has to count on her toes she’s a hoe!

  • Big-Tony says:

    For me “too much” is any number of guys you slept with that equals to over your age number.

    For Example, A 20 year old Female that’s slept with 20 guys, that’s unacceptable lol. To me, an alright amount is half your age.

  • rwr. says:

    not on the first date but if he/she really wants to know then over time you can..

  • DMARTIN says:


Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS. Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

We want to keep in touch with you. If you give us your email address, you may receive marketing emails from the DJ Networks family. We hope that's cool.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.