50 Cent

This year just doesn’t seem to be going so well for 50 Cent.

Curtis Jackson’s album is expected to flop, and the reason it will likely under-perform seems quite clear now.

The “Baby By Me” rapper who’s known to take other people’s baby mamas on shopping sprees has been splitting time between music and his newest enterprise. Here’s a hint – it provides protection like a bulletproof vest.

So you would think that with a new album, new fragrance, and a new beef with Jay-Z looming somewhere in the distance, Fiddy would have his hands full.

You’d be wrong.

It turns out that the rapper has plans to put his hands in places he’s never seen, if you know what I mean (not literally, of course). He’s been working on a line of condoms.

Take a moment to digest that.

I know what you’re thinking.

What man in his right mind would want to think about 50 Cent at that special moment?

By the way, what would he call them?

G-Unit Rubbers?

Bulletproof Jimmy Hats?

Candy Shop Condoms?

What would the ad campaign entail? Slogans such as “Be Safe or Die Tryin’” come to mind.

I’m having way too much fun with this one…

Anyway, the facts are as follows:

On The Tonight Show, 50 explained that he had been working on the perfect prophylactic. He said that he believed the “Rap It Up” campaign was no longer effective, and that he wanted to come up with something new and improved to promote safe sex.

This is coming from the guy who said… Wait, how does that line go?

“Have a baby by me, baby.
Be a millionaire.
I’ll write the check before the baby comes,
Who the f**k cares?”

The latex project just happens to be something else that he just couldn’t quite handle this year. According to TheBoombox.com, there is a special reason why you’ll just have to wait for Protection by 50.

“It just didn’t work out because I wanted things in it that wouldn’t work. I wanted things that would prolong sexual performance. You could just put it on and just go!”

It is unclear whether or not he will go ahead with these plans later on in the future, barring the correct formula.

Be careful with this one, fellas. You just might self-destruct.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe Fif should just stick to the music. Your thoughts?

Main Image: Milkand2sugars

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