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Highs & Lows: The Introduction

Submitted by on March 9, 2010 – 12:38 pm20 Comments

I’m new at this….be gentle!

#MoviePlaying- What Women Want

Where the hell am I? Did the power of that update button on my Twitter page (I’ll explain that later) really land me in the position as the relationship columnist over here at DrJays.com Live? Oh how I’ll probably regret this come next Monday.

Anyway, let me properly introduce myself to you guys. I’m LowKey. No, no, no…my mother would kill me if that’s how I really introduced myself in a public forum. My name is Nile Ivey. I’m a 27 year old blogger/journalist/Chipotle enthusiast/hopeless romantic/beanie bopper from South Brunswick, NJ. You may recognize the LowKey moniker from the pages of YouHeardThatNew.com and BET.com. Yeah, I cause trouble over there as well.

This column was TOTALLY unexpected and was dropped in my lap (in a good way) during my journey back to the Garden State last night (I work in Manhattan). Trending Topics can either get you in a shitload of trouble or open you up to new experiences; for me, it was the latter.

Before I proceed let’s set some rules on this relationship playground. In no way, shape or form am I a relationship guru. For God sake – I’m still single. You can also rule out the traditional format of a conventional relationship column. We’re going to take this ride together.

“Highs & Lows” will focus its energy of experiencing the high’s and low’s of the dynamics of relationships. From that grade school crush type feeling all the way up to the bury his/her body in a backyard feeling that creeps up on us when shit just isn’t going right. Who am I to act as if I don’t experience the same problems? What, just because I’m privileged to share some words of wisdom (I wouldn’t even call them wisdom) means I’m perfect? Ha, if you only knew the half.

My mini rant about #relationshiprules on Twitter is what got me here. Surprisingly, I was received A LOT of love from my followers in regards to the logistics on certain rules that are standard in relationships. Seeing how 365 days is the longest I’ve ever lived in a relationship, I was pretty damn shocked about the information my brain was spewing.

Maybe it’s because of the movies I’ve watched (Love Actually, That Thing You Do, The Holiday, Sleepless In Seattle, What Women Want, P.S. I Love You), the relationships I witnessed growing up or my personal hopeless romantic antics, but I sort of GET this relationship thing. Why I’m still single? Well, that’s a whooooooole different topic I have yet to figure out. So let’s get to these #relationshiprules first.

#relationshiprules Accept who you are first before you go fucking up someone else’s life.

In order to truly understand your partner, a complete understanding of oneself has to be accomplished. Picture yourself sitting him/her down to console, listen, motivate and everything in between when you can’t even configure the bullshit in your own system. It’ll be the understanding and confidence you exude that will make them completely comfortable in putting their trust in you. If your self esteem is a shit storm, don’t rain on someone else’s parade.

#relationshiprules Respect them up close and admire them from afar.

Respect is a two-way street. However, egos and pride have yet figure that out so it’s a pretty tough battle in seeing who gets it first. The respect factor, though, keeps egos and pride in check, thoroughly. And once you respect him/her up close, you can sit on a mountain top and admire the shit out him/her from afar. You become in awe with everything and anything they do because you simply respect it.

#Relationshiprules Take him/her on a date. Remember when y’all went on dates. Well, what the hell made y’all stop?

I remember a date me and a recent ex of mine had. It was f*cking (sorry, I like to curse) awesome. First we went to Coldstone Creamery (my favorite place in the world) where we stood and ate ice cream in front of each other. Then, we went to a movie right up the street. Directly after we snuck into another movie – nope, we didn’t pay, lol. We concluded the evening with a nice walk through Times Square. The best part(s) of the evening was both of us asking “Okay, so what do you want to do next?” Long story short: go on dates. Recapture that grade school ambiance. Build a ritual that belongs to you and him/her. Nothing expensive or extravagant, just something you KNOW you and him/her will enjoy doing. Why not?

#Relationshiprules Be proud of him/her. At the end of the day, you’re one of the few reasons they’re grindin’ so hard.

I honestly can’t stress this enough. Support, support SU-MOTHAFUC*ING-PPORT. No matter what it is, if it makes him/her happy, support them. You accepting/supporting a feat that’s important to them will encourage their spirit more than you’ll ever know. Think about it, once they become successful off that tiny feat, they’re going to look back at you to accompany them in enjoying the benefits. They’re not only doing this for themselves, they’re doing it for you as well.

Okay – so the first ride is over. As I lay these rules out for pondering, I’m also taking them in as well. It’s crazy how much a perspective can change once it’s laid out in front you, isn’t it? Any questions? Leggoooooooooooo (Oh, that means let’s go. I have to remember this isn’t a hip-hop blog).

I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but hopefully it won’t be too long of a gap. Ya’ll ready for the ride? I know I am.


Low “You know you give me butterflies, right?” Key

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