Highs & Lows: The “Preliminary Round”
In this relationship column I’m tackling the question – does the “First Date” even exist anymore?
#NowPlaying: Timbaland ft. Drake – “Say Somethin”
First off, let me apologize for the lack of activity around these parts. As you can see time management isn’t a strong suit of mine, but I’m getting better, I promise.
Too often many of us forget how important a “first impression” is. There are some who rely on a phone call, a text, email or AIM conversation to establish that initial connection. Others, well others have given up on the art of the “first date” altogether because of a hideous track record they may hold in their pocket. There are plenty of other factors that play into this issue, but the aforementioned are, to me, the leading cause in the demise of the “First Date.” Why is that?
In the spirit of the NCAA Final Four (taking place this weekend) I titled this post “The Preliminary Round.” This round is probably one of the most important rounds in the foundation of a relationship, because it’s here where you SEE and HEAR what this person has to offer. Your decision on whether or not you’re going to sleep with this person, eat with this person in the future, walk to the store with this person, argue with this person and everything in between is pretty much decided in the time span spent on the “Preliminary Round.”
I believe it’s because of the various topics I listed above that we’ve hindered the ability to just have a good time during our “Preliminary Round” with the person of choice for the evening. Society has disabled the function in our brain to just enjoy a night out with a person of choice. Pressure from our peers, co-workers, family members and any other inner circle member has also kept us from letting our cool down and basically enjoying the company that we’re in.
We all cherish the time we lend to other individuals, so wasting it on nonsense is not applicable to many – myself included. But in my own “experiences” and of those around me, we’re focusing on the future instead of the actual present. It seems as though we’re thinking, “Will my mother like him/her?” “Does he/she make enough?” “Will my friends accept him/her?” “Is he/she good in bed?” Whoa, whoa, whoa….how the hell did you get there so fast? You didn’t even order your second glass of wine and you’re already worried if their pay stub is compatible to yours?
Let’s be real. When we were in junior high and even high school these things weren’t an issue, right? And yes, I completely understand you’re “all grown up” now and what not, but maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe you don’t have to grow up so fast in certain areas. Maybe revisiting childhood methods is the way to reach the next level? I’m not saying act like a 12-year-old and giggle like a little school girl the entire night, but sliding that cool off is something we ALL must learn to apply during our “Preliminary Round.”
I can’t tell the future but I THINK using the lighthearted approach to the “Preliminary Round” will easily make it a more enjoyable experience in the long run. Remember when dating was fun and exciting? Remember when you were nervous (in a good way) if he/she was going to like your outfit or not? What happened to a stress free evening? You see that picture of me above? That’s the headache I get every time I think about dating because nowadays everyone is too cool to have a good time. Blah.
Feel the same way? I knew you would. That’s exactly why on this go ’round I want you to slide in that comments section and tell me what makes a good “Preliminary Round.” How do you maintain the fun and excitement within that experience? I’m looking for answers from all different angles. Is it the location? Your attire? The day of the week? What gives?
For my next posts, I’m going to start answering emails about whatever you heathens have on your mind. Interested in submitting your questions, send all inquiries to: [email protected] and I’ll handle accordingly. Deal? Deal!
Oh and my offer on the “Triple C’s” still stands. That’ll be our “Preliminary Round.” *Giggles In Auto-Tune*
Low “My ‘Preliminary Round’ has no time limit so be prepared to go alllll night. I’m just saying” Key
P.S. Will you go out with me? Circle Yes Or No!