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What Makes Men Serial Cheaters?

Submitted by on April 15, 2010 – 11:19 am23 Comments

With all of the recent hoopla surrounding male celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James, we were inspired to delve further into the topic of infidelity.

What is it that makes men cheat? It’s one thing to have a moment of weakness while in a committed relationship (not that we’re condoning that either), but we’re talking about what drives these men to shack up with numerous women, or in some cases, develop full-on relationships with the “other woman.” We know women cheat, as well, but you don’t see their cases covering newspapers and gossip magazines very often. Maybe we’re just slicker about it.

Take one of the most recent cases in the media, involving former NY Giants star Tiki Barber. The New York Post reported the 35 year-old had been cheating on his very pregnant wife with a 23 year-old college student named Traci Johnson. Tiki showered Traci with gifts, took her on trips and has now left his loyal wife for her. While the infidelity recently surfaced, this affair may have been going on for years.

Tiki and Ginny Barber

Then there was Steve McNair, who had a similar extramarital relationship with a 20-year-old woman named Sahel Kazemi. He was 36—similar in age to Tiki—when his life was taken in a murder-suicide at the hands of his mistress. McNair reportedly told Kazemi he was going to leave his wife for her, and then later decided against the move. Following his death, The New York Times revealed that McNair may have had another affair—one that lasted six years—with a stripper.

I have to ask: What is the point of getting or staying married if you know you can’t stay faithful?

In the cases of Jesse James and Tiger Woods, both of who just can’t seem to contain themselves around women, it could be a serious mental problem. They could be sex addicts who need rehab to get better. But are you buying this? Are these guys just straight up pigs whose only goal is to get with as many woman as possible?

Perhaps these men simply get married to appease the media, their families and others who put pressure on them to live traditional lives. Cheating men may  desire a nuclear family for themselves. They reach a point where they want that one main squeeze to call their wife, who will take care of their home and kids…while they freely indulge on the side.

It would seem that elements of society encourage cheating. There is actually an online dating agency called AshleyMadison.com which is dedicated to helping people in relationships have affairs. Their motto is “Life is short, have an affair.” On their website, they claim they aren’t encouraging cheating amongst married couples, they’re just providing “a safe and anonymous way to find partners to have an affair with, and make their experience a positive one.” The site also lists statistics on why people cheat, and “the basics about affairs,” including the following statement:

“The spark that you once had when you initially married your spouse disappeared somewhere along the way. Before you knew it you were on the Internet looking for cheating partners and women to have an affair with to bring that happiness and excitement back into your life.”

Is this the point where one should reach out to AshleyMadison.com, or try to work it out with their partner instead?

According to the site, only 10-percent of men cheat because the other woman is better looking than his wife. Makes sense, when you recall some of the most beautiful women, like Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez, who have been cheated on. Looks don’t really don’t have anything to do with this.

In the case of men who know they can’t commit, should they just stay single their whole lives, or do they also deserve to live the American marriage/family dream, complete with a white picket fence?

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