Last night BET aired the annual special Rip The Runway, their own version of the highly televised fashion show similar in formula to those made popular and mainstream by Victoria’s Secret and Vogue magazine. The idea is simple enough: Cross breed a live runway show with a pop or rap performance to (ding, ding) further illustrate the connection between music and fashion. What a snore.

The show opened with RACHEL Rachel Roy–clad models fluttering the catwalk to the live sounds of Keri Hilson singing “Pretty Girl Rock.” Rachel’s designs are simple, feminine and very downtown. Think flowered dresses, slinky silk tanks and flesh-tone silk pleated pants. The looks are very wearable, easy and cool, unlike Keri’s performance. Spotty vocals and odd choreography distracted from the clothing. Rock, Keri did not. #EpicFail

I’m starting to think BET is sabotaging these performances because the New Boyz sounded a little wacky, too! No matter, these adorable boys did their sassy rap thing (“You want a New Boy In You? “), while long-limbed models floated in WISB (Way It Should Be) by Haitian designer Hassan Pierre. Picture lots of monochromatic minis paired with socks and sandals—adorable.

I have one word: love. Tennille White’s designs are perfect: vibrant, luxurious and built to accentuate the endless curves of a plus-size woman. The women walking the catwalk for White were actually plus size and not a modeling agency’s random size six with a beautiful face. My favorite dress of the night was a magenta, one-shoulder ruffled cocktail dress. Delicious.

How much do you adore Lloyd’s close cropped ‘do? J’adore—the look suits him. While I’m throwing out the compliments, let me just say how cute he looked in hit white dinner jacket as he appropriately serenaded the audience with “Cupid.”

Man vs Machine’s designs are described as being skateboard flavor paired with tailored refinement. Ah, no. This unflattering collection of menswear contains items resembling British schoolboy uniforms, in addition to pastel cropped pants. On the flip, MVM’s neon cardi’s look like a must buy. Melanie Fiona added that special sprinkle with “Change The Record.” More Melanie, please!

Selita Ebanks is pretty, well spoken, seemingly approachable and, at best, a questionable stylist. The island-inspired color palette and cuts so short and skimpy they could only be worn by a supermodel are rather unfortunate.

The next part of the show is kind of a blur. Fabolous performed “You Be Killin’ Em” while skimpy Lila Nikole swimwear made it runway move. I refuse to think about swimwear until absolutely necessary. Wiz Khalifa looked the same and sounded the same as he performed “Roll Up” and “Black & Yellow.” Is it just me or did he seem slightly under baked? Almost sprightly, even?

Oh, LaQuan Smith. I know Mr. Andre Leon Tally has given you the co-sign, but I have to wonder if this was the collection he lauded. All of the pieces in your collection were too micro and overt to be appropriate for any woman with a shred of dignity. That said, put these looks in Miami and they’re guaranteed to sell out. As for Miguel? SMH. No words. I can’t.

What’s the cherry on top of this melting sundae? The inclusion of Dwight Eubanks from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. He wandered the streets of NYC looking for an unsuspecting women to whom he could grant a Rip The Runway makeover.

I’m sick of running my mouth. Catch the entire show right here:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

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