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Celebrate Cinco De Mayo Without Being An A$$

Submitted by on May 5, 2011 – 8:22 am2 Comments

It’s Cinco de Mayo so it’s time to get lit, but we want you to be drunk, not drunk and stupid.

Before you start getting all wasted, screaming and slurring (with your bottle of tequila) about today being Mexican Independence Day, let’s get the facts straight: May 5 is not Mexican Independence Day. (Read the previous sentence again and commit it to memory.)

September 16 is Mexico’s Independence Day, the equivalent to the Fourth of July here in the United States. Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Mexican military’s 1862 triumph over Napoleon III’s French forces in the Battle at Puebla.

Got it? Good. Now let us help you figure out how to really get this night started.

Start by honoring the food. Have a large Mexican meal before you go out and a light Mexican snack when you get home. I’m sure there is a Spanish proverb for “Don’t drink tequila on an empty stomach.” This leads me to my next suggestion: Don’t turn up the bottle of tequila á la the lady above. Tipping the bottle really isn’t cute. You might not feel the effects of the tequila in the moment but you will most certainly feel them later. (Tequila definitely creeps.) I only know one person who can consume seemingly limitless amounts of tequila, but even she agrees tequila’s true pain is felt the next day. Can we say “fire on the mountain”…

To soothe your curious leanings, here’ s what the content team will be doing in honor of Cinco de Mayo:

Kiran: “I’m going to Canada tomorrow, where they don’t celebrate it, but I’ll be celebrating at midnight tonight because my tradition is to go home to Canada hungover.”

Andrew: “Lots of tequila. And sex with a Mexican woman.”

Simone: “You’ll find me somewhere in Spanish Harlem riding around on a low rider bicycle.”

Jenny: “I’m going to buy a Hello Kitty piñata and have a Mexican-themed party.”

I’m staying in to avoid the amateurs (ie: I’ll be on my couch watching Pretty In Pink). Cinco de Mayo crowds are as annoying as the ones on St. Patricks Day.

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