Why Do Men Cheat? Is There A Good Reason For Cheating?
Why can’t men keep it in their pants?
The question is simple but the answer is complicated. Arnold Schwarzenegger did the nasty with a member of his domestic staff. Bill Clinton was fond of using cigars when getting a Lewinsky on the desk. Newt Gingrich cheated on his first wife with the lady who later became his second all while trying to impeach Clinton from the White House…for cheating. Tiger did it so many times I need a diagram to help keep the infidelity straight. What’s the deal gentlemen? I want to know. Tell me the truth.
I took an informal poll among some of the men I know—some married, others not—and the reasons they give for cheating were less than eye opening. The lame excuses included:
“Easy access.”
“Variety.”
“Why not?”
“Why do dogs lick their balls?”
“There are more women on the planet then men.”
“It’s biological.”
“Men like testing their boundaries.”
I am not satisfied by these answers so I want to hear what you all think. Don’t be scared to share. Gentlemen, tell me the dirty and the gritty—is it worse when women cheat versus men? Ladies, don’t hold back—if you’ve got a sidepiece, I want to know about it. Can cheating be forgiven? Are you a cheater? Who you cheat with? I want to hear the truth about the deception. Please share why you did it, how you did it, where you did it and what happened afterward. Did you get caught? Would you do it again? Please respond in the “Comments” section.
This question requires thought, so I will reward one person for their honesty and effort. The writer of the best response will win a $50 gift certificate to DrJays.com. Please have your answers posted by 11:59PM on Monday, May 23, 2011. I will contact the winner via email.
May the best cheater win!
There is NO reason for cheating some of us are just dogs and its sad.
I’m not surprise, that there’s no feedback!!! lmbo
I’ve never cheated and I never will. I just flat out break up with them. But I know dudes that have cheated and it’s for the following reasons:
1. They’re idiots. Seriously they are lol.
2. Females drive them to it. Yeah I said it. If you constantly mess with a guy, give him crap, trap him, etc… what do you expect him to do when something else is put on the table. Not always the case but it happens a lot.
3. Females love a guy that’s not easily attainable so this includes someone elses bf/husband. My brother has a wedding ring and girls still throw themselves at him.
4. Some are just dogs and know they can get away with it.
5. The other girl has something better to offer. The thing is it doesn’t always have to be sex/looks related.
I broke up with a hot girl because she sucked as a person. She said “I won’t find a girl as pretty as her.” I said “maybe not but she’ll have her beat at everything else, looks aren’t everything”
The fact is that while men do cheat, women cheat a greater clip than men do. Every study that i’ve ever read about people cheating in relationships shows that women cheat a great deal more than men. No one wants to talk about or admit it because it goes against the stereotypes of society but the fact is that its true. The only difference between men and women is that women are better at not getting caught.
Cheaters are looking for variety or for an escape from their unhappiness. They think they will find something better out there but in the end they ruin everyone’s life in the balance. It is a selfish act like suicide. Everyone gets hurt . Unfortunately the quick fix does not work . If they put their energy into making their relationships better – if they only knew HOW to care about others- then there would be no cheating. Cheaters do not know how to communicate and be make a relationship grow. Everyone loses because no one knows they are playing with fire and the cycle never ends. It can turn into an addiction and is about putting your energy in all the wrong places . Everything in America is about instant gratifiction. No one knows how to turn a relatonship into something of quality- to appreciate and nurture and love what you have instead of panting after something you cant have. In the end what goes around comes around. Unfortunately all the good people get hurt in the end by those who have no spiritual connections. This country’s morals have decayed to the point of no respect for people or property. Our values are deteriorated so that no one honors another person. What happened to loyalty, faith, and kindness? Cheating is simply about totall selfishness and no self-control. It is about not thinking about hurting anyone and only thinking about what will make oneself happy. It is the ultimate macho bully who takes and does not care about the consequences to others lives or feelings. It is about losing all of our moral fiber.
It never ceases to surprise me how many people ignore what REALLY lies underneath cheating, stupid humans, they always resort to what Cosmo or MAXIM Magazines wold say. SAD.
Think back, before wet t-shirt contests, we’re talking WAY back in the beginning of the formation of our brains. Yes, if you know anything about history, you’d know that women and men were BOTH equally integral in the development of society and family, both were important and had very important roles in society, on a formative level.
Fast-forward to the era of keeping women down and in the home: cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, no profession or developmental positions in society, the MAN ruled the home… what did this do?
Well think about it, we are hard-wired to be EQUAL, to do things and have an responsibly active life, take that away, burn it into our heads that men are the head of the household and women stay home, meanwhile what’s happening way deep in our skulls, what’s hard-wired is that we WANT a woman who takes care of business, we NEED it, one person can’t do all the work. Yeah tough guy, say you can, then find yourself paying over half your earnings to your wife who left you because you dipped your wick into another candle or you just don’t respect her anymore and stop paying real attention, or you abuse your kids or her.
When one person works their ass off, everyday, the stress at the job, the stress of taxes, bills, children, wife, car payments, mortgage, toys, movies, food, nights out, then the fights because the guy can’t even maintain a normal life in himself let alone with a wife because he’s one step off the pier of sanity… IT DRIVES MEN NUTS. And with all of this insanity, how can anyone be surprised?
They feel taken advantage of, disrespected, like they’re the only ones working their arses off… and as wel all, innately look for someone who is a hard worker and we know will have our backs if there ever comes the day that we need it… so they start to look for that woman who they FEEL is not taking advantage of them, that simple fling without the stresses, that giddy feeling again, from someone who TRIES and exerts REAL effort, that HOPE for a way out of the insanity… even though it’s NOT the answer, it’s how the mind processes it, hell, we’ve been conned into believing that the man rules the house and society for how many centuries? And look at where that’s gotten us, all of us, not just guys…
Yeah people, the man rules the house, but even if the woman cheats, she get’s half or more… that’s really ruling things, isn’t it? So get that trite idea out of your heads and start WORKING TOGETHER, become ONE again and you’ll start to see things in a very different light.
And sorry ladies, taking care of the kids and staying home ISN’T a job, I’ve lived with girlfriends who had kids that I took care of because my career I work form home with my own clients and it was EASY BREEZY! LOVED IT!
I have many guy friends who have as well and they LOVED it too, they were/are busy but NOT insane busy like they were at their careers. And funny enough, to prove my theory, most of them have gotten divorced due to cheating and you know who cheated? THE WOMEN!
Well well well, I can tell you that if someone marries someone you must be able to compromise you know reach an agreement and sometimes you will disagree and have to be able to move on from that point. See I also can say that if your wife argue’s to you about something you and get all pissed off about it and you try to calm her down its like you just aint good enough and then when she does the same exact thing and you want to talk about it, its like she dont see her faults and thats a damn shame, I mean how you gonna critisize me and then you go and do the same thing and expect me not to get mad. That’s crazy to me. Then your wife wants a big wedding after yall done got married through justice in peace, you trying to pay bills off and she wants to go to summer school which you have to pay out of pocket and she wants to move at the same time which really dont make since to me. All see is money and you trying to save up for the wedding and pay bills off and she calling for money from you every week, I know that drives a man crazy to say hey when is she going to slow down and realize that money she wants to spend taking that summer classes could be for that wedding she wants, and those bills that can be payed off with that. and that is another reason why some men cheats because of situations like this.
cheat because your girl is a bitch…time to move on life is too short
Simple, us men cheat because things get old and we are looking for something fresh to satisfy our needs. We can meet the most beautiful women you’ve seen your whole life & become serious with her. Things will be good at first because they are indeed fresh. When it all comes down to it her face, her touch, her warmth will become aged. This is the point where men tend too search for something fresh, new meat. We all have experienced relationships where the sexuality between both parties is extreme at first. Then, after a while it tends to slow down… Aged. We truely love the women we cheated on and want to be with this individual in the long run. We just tend too stray off because we find someone/something else attractive. No matter how perfect your current girlfriend/wife (in some cases) we will always break our necks too follow the next as she passes by… simply because its something fresh, something your not adjusted too and do not see on a daily basis.
Jim etc: I see your point but it wasn’t really ignored. It was something shack brought up because it was related to something going on currently.
As for women being better at not getting caught. They’re good at diversionary and nagging. If you can get through that then they’re really not that bright at it. So I wouldn’t say they are.
One of my ex’s was cheating on me. I could’ve brought it up, but I didn’t cause I really didn’t give a fuck about her because she contributed shit to the relationship. I did throw it out there during a argument we had on the phone on our break up. She tried to say something but I told her to shut it and don’t even try. A week or 2 later she got pissed at me for talking to one of her coworkers/friends. If she only knew I had sex with her other co worker at her job. My ex still tried to get back with me even when she was having sex with some other dude.
I can tell when a girl I’m with/talking to is talking to another dude. It’s all in the signs.
Its challenging,most of us don’t even think about it during or after we’ve accomplish what we wanted. However in some relationships the women drop out, meaning they don’t feel or do the same things they use to do during sex and they leave the man open and when men feel they are not getting please at home they will go out. Then other women entice men especially the married men.Its safer for them and they know if shit hits the fan its most likely will be on the man. Women just take care of your man and if you do what please him and he to you cheating want happen.
Men cheat because they want that instant satisfaction from the opposite sex no matter how they get it or who they get it from. I also think it has a lot to do with peer pressure. Men gather around each other and have competitions on who can get the most girls. They think this is the way they can become “the man”. Another reason, which I would think the men could agree with, is that an erect penis and logic do not belong in the same category. If another female gets another man’s hormones really going, no matter who it is, bad things are going to happen. An erect penis got a mind of its own and is gonna do whatever it wants straight up.
Men cheat because the idea of sleeping with the same chick for the rest of your life is scary. So dudes be sleepin around when they’re in a serious relationship because a life long commitment is too much.
The men who cheat do so because they are emcompass one or both of these qualities: they’re selfish and cowardly. They also fail to realize the consequences.
They want to be with someone else but don’t want to let their partner go because they know that she can probably do better and won’t come back. So instead of letting her go, like a compassionate person would do, they string her along because they want to “have their cake and eat it too”. Or, the man could not want to be with someone else at all — just for the moment. This is when the man fails to remember the 80/20 rule — disrespecting his 80% for the 20%. (Don’t know what that is? Watch Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?)
If they are not selfish, then they are cowardly. They no longer love the one they are with, but don’t want to hurt her feelings, and look like the bad guy. (When in essence, isn’t that what cheating is doing?) So they keep her, all the while hoping she will maybe find out about the cheating so that she will do the work for him.
If the men who cheat did not have the selfish and/or cowardly traits, there would be no cheating because the man would either A) Fight to make his relationship work or B) Man up and let the girl go.
People try to make cheating into this whole complicated issue and it is not. People can sense the beginnings of cheating. They just CHOOSE to not stop it. DON’T get that obviously hoe-ish girl’s number at the club. TELL the hungry chick that you’re in a relationship and you are NOT interested. DO NOT leave yourself alone with an attractive woman who keeps eyeballing you.
Not that hard gentlemen.
Oh, and those answers posted in the original post are pathetic.
“Easy access.” – Leads into my original post regarding being selfish. Getting AIDS is easy too. Have fun with that.
“Variety.” – One woman can provide plenty of variety if you let her know. Hairstyles, clothing, shoot, we can change our HEIGHT. Again, just being selfish.
“Why not?” – Because they’re are consequences. Avis Banks, Rhoni Reuter, the countless women on Maury who find out their partner got some random chick pregnant. Because having babies is *so* not a big deal with someone you don’t know. *sarcasm*
“Why do dogs lick their balls?” – To clean themselves because they can’t use soap and water themselves. But it’s interesting that you would equate yourself to a dog.
“There are more women on the planet then men.” – Again, being selfish.
“It’s biological.” – But not all men cheat, so that kind of throws that out of the window.
“Men like testing their boundaries.” – I suppose this is the same game they like to play with STDs and pregnancies. And broken boundaries result in a minute of pleasure and a lifetime of hurt? Congratulations on that prize, genius.
I think men cheat because we dont want to face the truth.i know with me i cheated on females because i knew i could get away with it.My dad got 9 kids by 5 women so i fell into his footstep thinking i can just have sex with all the females i want.All a female want is a man that will treat them right show them off to the world like she the only woman on Earth and its nothing wrong with that.But all it takes is one female to have bigger breast or bigger butt then the one they with and they will go after her just to see if they can get.Once they get it they realize they was thinking with the little head not they big head and thats when a man will flip the switch and act paranoid to make the woman look like the bad person and thats how a female get they heart broken.It took for a female to cheat on me for me to realize how bad it hurt to be cheated on.So with most men thats what it will take for them to feel that pain of a broken heart for them to man up and realize you should treat a woman how you feel you mama should be treated like a queen.Until then men will cheat.
The answer to me is a simple failure in centralizing core values. For me, I have never cheated in my life. I don’t cheat for one simple reason: I wouldn’t want it done to me. Now, all this talk of “genetic hardwiring” and other made-up terms all really refer to a lack of values. I value my relationships because I would like to think that the things I do for my baby are valued in return.
And, to keep her from cheating, I do my best to stay on top of my game. I work hard to be able to treat her to the things she wants, I work out and keep myself healthy so that I’m not too hard on the eyes, I make sure to tell her at least once a day how beautiful she is so that she knows how much I appreciate her. And in turn, I have a girl who does all of these things in return so that we remain happy.
Sometimes, I wonder how a 20 year old was able to come to such a simple conclusion when doctors and professors and everyone else can’t seem to figure it out.
I was with my boyfriend for 6 months, it wasn’t a long relationship. but the reason we broke up had something to do with me cheating on him. I always thought i would never cheat on anyone because i have had it done to me and the pain is horrible.
But I went out with some friends and met on of their friends. He was nice and funny and made me laugh. So we got talking and one thing led to another and we done a few things. After he got m number and we started sexting and then we developed feelings. My relationship wasn’t nice. I wasn’t happy and our sex life was boring.
I ended the relationship with out telling him what happened. The reason i cheated was because the guy was telling me the right things and my relationship was dead. I don’t use alcohol as an excuse because i was fully capable of saying no. The guilt built up and before i new it i was single and still am.
I cheated because i wanted to feel wanted and i wanted fun. I didn’t have time to think about it at the time. It just happened, so to be honest i think a lot of people don’t realize what’s going on until it sinks in after. It is a horrible thing to do but i am kind of happy i cheated.
There’s no real reason for cheating. There are a lot of reasons and some are stupid but they are true.