Ladies, Hide Your Bottoms Because A Butt Stabber Is On The Loose!
No, seriously. You read the headline correct and this is not a joke. There is some guy out in Virginia who is cutting booties for a living. Since February of this year, five women have been sliced on their bottoms by this “heavyset Hispanic man in his late 20s around 5 feet 6 inches tall.”
Again, this is not a joke.
However, there is a slight bit of humor in some guy having a fetish with carved up backsides.
The victims have all been hit by the serial butt stabber at retail stores and in malls. Fairfax Police stated that these random stabbings weren’t by coincidence. Instead, this guy just enjoys using a box cutter to poke women. Pretty sick right? The funny thing is that criminal profiler Ted Williams spoke to NBC Washington and actually called his loony antics the booty-slicing version of the D.C. Sniper.
[Williams] said the slasher’s criminal pattern closely resembles the D.C. sniper’s from almost 10 years ago.
“The one common thread is normally they want some kind of attention,” he said.
Uh, no. Not the same thing here. Well, maybe the attention part.
We’re left to wonder why this fellow is so intrigued with stabbing butts? Is he trying to find out who is real and who is fake? In that case, give Nicki Minaj a poke for us and let us know what you find.
No, not really.
Somebody just needs to find this weirdo and put an end to his madness. But first find out why the hell he’s doing this.