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It’s Over! 5 Reasons Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Really Broke Up

Submitted by on November 1, 2011 – 2:22 pmNo Comment

And they said it wouldn’t la…Oh, nevermind. After just 72 days—or roughly 58 percent as long as the NBA lockout has been going on—Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries because of “irreconcilable differences.” Humphries was reportedly blind-sided by Kardashian’s wish to get divorced and released a statement shortly after it was announced to say that he’s still very much in love with Kim and willing to do whatever it takes to make his marriage work. However, at the present moment, it appears that these two are not getting back together.

Why? We’re not exactly sure. Some people seem to think this is all part of a bigger plan for Kim’s various reality TV shows. Others think the marriage was a farce to begin with and had no chance of lasting. And the rest think they simply rushed into something they weren’t ready for. But whatever you think, one thing is for sure: It’s over. At least, for now.

So, what happened to get things to this point? Well, we’ve got some theories. Some ridiculous theories. But some theories nonetheless. So sit back and let us explain to you why we think Kim and Kris are calling it quits after less than three months of marriage.

1. Kim kept looking at her sister Khloe’s marriage to Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom and thinking, “We’ll never be in love like them!”

Who would have thunk it?! Two years ago, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom looked like the biggest publicity stunt this side of, well, everything Kim has ever done. Fast forward two years and those two are still plugging along. Somehow. And they’ve managed to do it somewhat quietly after making a lot of noise initially. We think Kim eventually realized that that wasn’t going to happen with Kris.

2. Kim just realized she’d have to spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas this year in Minnesota.

You know how it is once you get married. Thanksgiving at her parents’ house and Christmas at his one year, followed by Thanksgiving at his parents’ house and Christmas at hers the following years. Sometime in the last month, Kim clearly realized that it was almost Thanksgiving and thought, “Oh, $^%&! I have to buy a plane ticket to Minnesota!” because Kris is, of course, from Minnesota. We all knew that wasn’t happening—Kim in Minnesota?—so she pulled the plug and made sure she’d be eating turkey and singing “Jingle Bells” in Hollywood once again this year.

3. Kim got tired of lending Kris money to buy her gifts.

If Kim was going to end up buying her own gifts with her own money all the time—you don’t really think Kris spent $2 million on a engagement ring, do you?—she figured she might as well cut out the middle man. And, doesn’t it seem like that that is exactly what Kris has been throughout most of this marriage process?

4. Kim found out Reggie Bush had 72 days in his office pool.

Okay, just kidding. But, c’mon: You know that the Kim/Reggie saga isn’t over just yet, right? It was only a matter of time before these two got back together—sources say they had lunch last Saturday when both of them were in New York—and Kris was left as the poor sap standing in between them. Well, them and huge TV ratings!

5. Kim got just as tired as we did of seeing her and Kris in the tabloids every single day of the week.

Ugh! It just gets really old, doesn’t it, Kim? Ha! But, seriously: How would you feel if every time you signed online or stood on line at the supermarket, you saw a picture of you and your significant other? It can get to be way too much. And for Kim, it did get to be too much. Sorry, Kris, but it’s over.

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