Hmmm…So, Shaquille O’Neal is retired, right? We thought so. And yet, Chinese sneaker company Li-Ning has still decided to release a new sneaker called the Li-Ning Shaq Zone “Miami Heat.”. And we’ve got a few problems with them doing so.

First of all, SHAQ IS RETIRED. So if you’re trying to market a sneaker aimed towards basketball players, why not pick a player who’s actually in the league? Not for nothing, but we’d be a little quicker to rock a pair of Li-Ning Mario Chalmers Zone “Miami Heat” sneakers than a shoe designed for Shaq. That brings us to our second part. Li-Ning, you do realize that Shaq played on the Heat like…50 years ago, right? Okay, not actually 50 years ago. But Shaq has played on two other NBA teams since playing for the Heat. We know why you chose the Heat—they’re the first or second most popular NBA team right now—but c’mon! When we think “Shaq” today, we don’t associate him with the Heat. At all. And then, of course, we have to comment on the actual sneaker. Eghck! What is going on here? You know a sneaker is ugly when Shaq’s logo is the best-looking thing on it.

Overall, we have to say that we will not be wearing these sneakers anytime soon. Mostly because we don’t like the look of them, but also because it seems like Li-Ning is trying to play us—and Shaq!—here a little bit by dropping a pair of signature Shaq sneakers in 2011 in a Miami Heat colorway. Nice try, guys. But you’re not going to fool us here. What do you ballers out there think, though? Are you copping these—or passing on them? We’re pretty sure we already know the answer. But, hey: Amuse us, please!

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