A teacher at a charter school in Washington, D.C. was fired recently for giving homework to his third-grade students. No big deal, right? After all, if you ask us, third-grade kids could probably use a little more homework than they’re already getting. With the way things are going in schools these days, it won’t kill them. Unless, of course, that homework involves math problems about killing other people. Then, it might not necessarily be such a good idea.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what in the world we’re talking about. Well, let us explain. A teacher from D.C.’s Trinidad Center High School, who has not been identified, stands accused of hanging out homework assignments to his young students that included violent and racist math problems. Although the teacher claims that he was simply using homework assignments that he found on a website called HomeschoolingParadise.com, he was relieved of his teaching duties after Dr. Beverley Wheeler, the CEO of the Center City PCS which oversees Trinidad, field several complaints from parents about the homework assignments and took a look at the site for herself after questioning the teacher.

“I was absolutely distressed,” she said. “It doesn’t follow anything we do. We are about character, excellence, and service and I found them to be violent and racist.”

So, what are some examples of the math problems that the teacher handed out? Well, here’s one: “I took a nap in a bog one day and woke up screaming. 3796 leeches, 2910 fleas, and 1044 vampire bats were stuck to my bald head drinking my blood in ecstasy. How many bloodthirsty bloodsuckers were dining on my head?”

Here’s another: “John’s father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. Nine of John’s friends came for his funeral the next day. John’s grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John’s friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend go?”

See? Learning can be fun! Er, or incredibly terrifying. It really all depends on how you look at it. But regardless of your own personal feelings, it’s pretty clear to us that someone out there was going to get offended when these math problems were used to help teach third-grade students. So it was pretty dumb of a teacher to think that he’d actually get away with doing it. And this is the kind of person who’s supposed to be teaching the future of this country? Suddenly, laying down in that bog and getting all the blood sucked out of our heads doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

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