Battleship Sinks And Rihanna Can’t Save It
The Universal Pictures film based on the popular Hasbro board game Battleship has been getting panned across the board by film critics prior to its release on May 18th. The movie is built like a sci-fi summer blockbuster but has been raked over the coals for its mundane storyline, wooden acting, and overall nonsensical approach.
Why did they try to capitalize on the board game? I have no clue. And after seeing an early screening of the film, I must agree with the critics that this is a bastardization of multiple summer blockbusters ranging from Independence Day to Transformers. But I know what you’re most curious about — how is Rihanna in the film?
One word: horrible.
I’m not going to place all the blame on Ri-Ri as every single character in the film lacks depth and is saddled with some craptastic dialog. However, Rihanna isn’t remotely believable as the tough girl on the battleship. She delivers her lines with the conviction of a pre-teen asking the high school cheerleader out on a first date. She seems unsure of herself and what she is supposed to do. But I figure with lines like “Ma halo Motherf*cker,” she probably had a hard time holding in the laughter from the corny script. She’s never given anything more than a one-liner. Whether that was by design or when director Peter Berg realized that she’s just another pretty face is unknown. All we get to see is her phoning-in some wretched dialog and shooting a rifle. Hell, we’re not even given a sexy shot. She’s just there in her Navy duds waiting to blow something up and spew a line that lands with the impact of a feather pillow.
It’s not like Rihanna was bad in a good movie. That would suck. But all can be somewhat forgiven when she is bad in a bad movie.
Maybe next time.