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Seriously, What’s Up With All The Zombie Cannibals?

Submitted by on June 2, 2012 – 9:05 am3 Comments

Earlier in the week, I wrote about the impending zombie apocalypse and the man in Miami shot dead while chewing off another man’s face- but the week’s cannibal and zombie related news has only gotten weirder and more disturbing since then. I mean, it’s weird even once you get past the fact that there’s a wave of zombie/cannibal news.

Authorities in Canada and France are leading the international manhunt for Lukka Rocco Magnotta, a Canadian porn actor who is accused of torturing and murdering a man on camera, eating and raping the body, and then mailing some of the body parts to a political office and other locations in Ottawa.

Magnotta has also been connected to videos from 2010 depicting animal torture. He is believed to be in France, but is an experienced world traveler who has already lived under several aliases.

(Canada! I should have known that’s where the zombie apocalypse would start, because it’s the last place you would expect.)

Meanwhile, back in the US, authorities in Maryland are investigating the killing and dismemberment of a 37-year-old Ghanian native. Alex Kinyua, a 21-year-old originally from Kenya, has reportedly confessed to killing Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie and eating his heart and brain. Kinyua had been staying with Agyei-Kodie’s family for a few weeks outside of Baltimore. Both were at times students at nearby Morgan State University.

Kinyua was out on bail, awaiting trial for allegedly assaulting a man with a baseball bat at the Morgan State campus and blinding him in one eye. Kinyua’s Facebook and Twitter pages were full of incoherent messages and fears of ethnic cleansing.

The news has gotten so bad that the Centers For Disease Control has actually weighed in, denying the existence of zombies. A spokesman told the Huffington Post that the ”CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).” In the past, the organization has released disaster preparedness tips humorously framed as “zombie warnings.”

Part of me assumes that these kinds of attacks are always happening somewhere in the world, and we just haven’t heard about them until now (although that’s a whole other kind of disturbing). But just to be on the safe side, it seriously might be a good time to check out those Zombie Defense guidelines.

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