White House Responds To Death Star Petition: “No.”
The White House finally responded to a petition that crossed the threshold on the We The People website: a demand that the US build a Death Star, based on the military base from Star Wars.
In what must have been the memo of a nerd’s lifetime, Paul Shawcross, chief of the Science and Space Branch of the Office of Management and Budget (surely the nerdiest title in the federal government), explained with thorough detail and optimistic outlook why the country will not be building a Death Star:
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
- The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
- Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
But Shawcross goes on to explain that we do have a space station the size of a football field (the ISS), not to mention many Star Wars-worthy technological advances. He ends on an encouraging note:
We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country’s future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.
Oh, and the title of Shawcross’s response? “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For.” Awesome.