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Carrie Underwood Reveals She Has Panic Attacks & Is The “Queen Of Awkward” In Marie Claire

Submitted by on May 19, 2013 – 12:45 pmNo Comment

Even in her teen years, Carrie Underwood always knew she’d be “rich, famous, and married to a hot guy.” The American Idol winner (2005), who covers the June 2013 issue of Marie Claire, listed those three wishes in her high school yearbook and they clearly all came true.

“You were supposed to say what you would be doing in 10 years, and I said, ‘I will be rich, famous, and married to a hot guy,’” Underwood tells Marie Claire. “I guess I should have added a few more things!”

While the 30-year-old always wanted superstardom, fame and fortune were more than the country singer bargained for. “At the beginning of my career, I used to have panic attacks. People were touching me, screaming —it made me really nervous. In public, I just get nervous. It’s a physical reaction, feeling like the walls are closing in,” she explains. “The fans are great. It’s not their fault. I don’t ever want to come across as ungrateful. But on my end, it is hard for me to process. Because I am still just me.”

While Carrie is happily married to hockey pro Mike Fisher, who calls her the “Queen of Awkward” (“anything that can be made awkward, I will make awkward,” she says), she admits she’s not quite ready to start a family. “I don’t feel old enough to have kids,” she says. “I know I am mature. But being responsible for another human?”

Carrie’s lack of a maternal instinct may stem from her own upbringing. “I’m not a mushy person at all,” she says. “We were never a huggy family. Or a ‘let’s talk it out’ family. Technically, I have siblings, but they are quite a bit older than me. I was the accident, so I have the only-child syndrome going on. I’m a little more selfish, a little more independent, a little closed. I do wish I were softer. I wish I were able to form relationships better. But hey, I mean, I’m not a sociopath.”

The June 2013 issue of Marie Claire hits newsstand May 21. Check out Carrie’s sexy fashion shoot with photographer Regan Cameron below and read the entire interview here. Who’s your favorite American Idol winnner?


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